Theatre of the Absurd
by ello luv
Summary: A conversation between Jack and Ianto written in the style of Theatre of the Absurd.


Title: Theatre of the Absurd  
Fandom: Torchwood  
Pairing: Jack/Ianto  
Rating: G  
Warning: kind of a crack!fic I suppose, in that it's really random  
Summary: In the last episode of series 1 (you know, the one where Jack dies and then Gwen brings him back to life?) Somehow, this is placed in between the reunion scene and when Jack disappears. Jack and Ianto chatter.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood  
A/N: This was done for an assignment in my British Literature class where we had to write a short play in the style of Theatre of the Absurd (think _Waiting for Godot_). Instead of creating characters and a scenario of my own, I just used Jack and Ianto.

_Lights up. And office building in Cardiff, Wales. At stage right centre there is a faded red sofa. At far stage left sits a short desk, parallel to the audience, with a computer keyboard. On stage right sofa sits a dashingly handsome man wearing a worn RAF greatcoat over dark blue trousers, a light blue dress shirt, and gray braces. This is __JACK__ and he is American. At the stage left desk a Welshman named __IANTO __is typing on the keyboard, looking at the audience as if they are the monitor. He is dressed primly in a full suit, complete with pinstriped waistcoat, red shirt, and black tie. _

JACK: So they know. (_Pause) _Everybody

Silence. IANTO stops typing, shakes his hands, begins again

JACK: Yan? (_IANTO__ types) _Ianto? (_Pause. __IANTO__ types) _Ianto!

IANTO: _(Stops typing) _What?

JACK: I like your suit.

IANTO: I always wear a suit.

JACK: Red's your colour.

Silence. IANTO begins to type again

JACK: Are you okay with it? _(Pause) _Ianto?

IANTO: _(Continues typing) _Yes?

JACK: Are you okay with it?

IANTO: _(stops typing) _What?

JACK: I said, are you—

IANTO: I heard.

JACK: Then are you?

IANTO: Am I…?

JACK: Okay with it?

IANTO: With what?

JACK: With everybody knowing.

IANTO: Oh. _(Pause) _Yeah.

JACK: Yeah?

IANTO: Yeah.

JACK: Good. _(Long pause) _Even her?

IANTO: Who?

JACK: Her. _(Pause) _Gwen.

IANTO: _(Resumes typing) _Oh.

JACK: _(pause) _Well are you?

IANTO: Why wouldn't I be? You're the one she fancies.

Silence. JACK rises and removes greatcoat, draping it over the back of the sofa. Sits. Lays down, Sits, Stands, Walks stage left, upstage and behind IANTO. Looks out at the audience as if he is studying the computer screen. Slowly puts left hand on IANTO's left shoulder.

IANTO: Why did you do it?

JACK: You type fast.

IANTO: (stops typing) Wait, what?

JACK: You do.

IANTO: That's why you did it?

JACK: No.

IANTO: Then why did you do it?

JACK: Do what?

IANTO: You know what.

Silence. IANTO looks up at JACK, places right hand over JACK's left

JACK: You look good in a suit.

IANTO: So you've said.

JACK: (leering) You'd look better out of it.

IANTO: (rolls eyes) So you've said. (Pause) Why'd you do it, Jack?

JACK: Do what?

IANTO: You know what.

JACK: No, what?

IANTO: You went away.

JACK: Yes

IANTO: You came back.

JACK: Yes.

IANTO: You hugged everyone.

JACK: Yes.

IANTO: You kissed me.

JACK: Yes.

IANTO: Why?

JACK: Yes.

IANTO: What?

Silence. Their eyes meet.

JACK: What?

IANTO: (warningly) Jack…

JACK: Love is a very strong word.

IANTO: Pardon?

JACK: It is. Usually, when people talk of love they're talking about forever. (Pause) Forever is a long time. (Pause. Thoughtfully.) So is a century, but forever is longer. (Pause) I'd love some coffee. (Pause) Ianto? (Pause) Coffee?

IANTO sighs, stands, exits left. JACK paces, hands in pockets. Stops downstage far right. IANTO enters left with mug, crosses to JACK. JACK takes mug. IANTO crosses to sofa and sits on stage left end. JACK sips coffee, hums in approval.

JACK: Magical.

IANTO: Pardon?

JACK: Your coffee.

IANTO: What about it?

JACK: It's magical.

IANTO: Oh.

JACK: It is.

IANTO: So you've said. (Pause) And Gwen. (Pause) And Tosh. (Pause) And Owen. (Pause) And Suzie.

JACK: The truth cannot be overstated.

IANTO: Right.

Silence. JACK crosses to sofa and sits on stage right end, drinks coffee. Looks inside mug. Shrugs. Drinks. Puts mug down on the floor beside the sofa. IANTO looks at JACK, looks away, sighs, stands, removes suit jacket, puts it atop JACK's greatcoat, sits.

JACK: Nice day today.

IANTO: Yeah?

JACK: Sunny.

IANTO: Yeah?

JACK: Very unlike normal Cardiff weather.

IANTO: We've been unseasonably warm.

JACK: Yeah.

Silence. JACK fidgets, stands, shakes out legs, sits.

IANTO: Do you love me?

JACK: Do I what?

IANTO: You were talking of love before.

JACK: Yes I was.

IANTO: So…?

JACK: What?

IANTO: Do you?

JACK: Do I what?

IANTO: Love me.

JACK: Do I love you?

IANTO: Well?

JACK: I dunno. (Pause) Maybe.

IANTO: Maybe?

JACK: Maybe.

Silence. IANTO stands, crosses to sit beside JACK. JACK puts arm around IANTO's shoulders. IANTO leans in to him and puts his head on JACK's shoulder. JACK grabs IANTO's left hand with his right, interlaces their fingers.

IANTO: Me too.

JACK: Hmm?

IANTO: I might love you too.

JACK: Yeah?

IANTO: Yeah.

Blackout.


End file.
